


trying for you

by bbybngchn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, BOTTOM MINHO, Blow Jobs, Brief talk of suicide, Friendship, Ghost Sex, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Top Jeongin, brief talk of overdosage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbybngchn/pseuds/bbybngchn
Summary: Jeongin is excited to finally have a place all to himself. He doesn't need anyone. Not his mother, or the cute TA that keeps trying to ask him out, or any of the rich boys he hooks up with. He just wants to get through his last two years of college.It's too bad his apartment came with a built in roommate that's hellbent on showing him life isn't meant to be lived alone.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone
Comments: 19
Kudos: 215
Collections: Stray Kids SpookFest





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt: "A is a poltergeist making Bs live a tad bit harder every day. Maybe he's just jealous of seeing the other hookup with everyone but him."
> 
> The prompter requested nsfw Innie and I went a little nuts lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Jeongin has never felt so free in his life. 

Chan is laid flat on the ratty couch they’d just finished moving into Jeongin’s tiny apartment. He’s a little too tall to actually lay all the way on it, his legs flopped over the armrest.

The wallpaper is a sickly color akin to soggy oatmeal. There isn’t a door to the bedroom and Jeongin hasn’t had hot water in the three days since he’s moved in. 

But he’s so happy. 

Chan looks up from where he’s still panting lightly, having done most of the heavy lifting between the two of them, and offers a lazy smile in response to the almost awestruck look in Jeongin’s eyes.

“You like it?” 

Jeongin looks down at Chan, takes in the kind smile and messy curls. They’d only met at the beginning of this semester, barely three months ago, but already Jeongin has a bit of a soft spot for him. Despite being older than him by four years, Chan is nice and sweet, completely different from most of the people Jeongin associates with. 

As Jeongin approaches the couch, Chan scoots over, letting Jeongin sit down. Now looming over the older boy Jeongin can see a slight flush rising to his cheeks. Cute. 

“I love it,” Jeongin breathes, leaning down so that his breath fans over Chan’s face. “Thank you, Channie.” 

Chan’s breath hitches and Jeongin presses their lips together. 

It’s always easy to get Chan going. Pushing into his mouth and drawing tiny moans from him, sliding a hand inside his loose shorts. Jeongin’s movements are practiced and smooth. Chan lets out a tiny squeak when Jeongin wraps a hand around his cock, pumping him gently. 

A loud bang on the wall opposite of the couch has Chan jolting, bumping his forehead harshly against Jeongin’s. 

Jeongin curses, pulling away from Chan all together as the older begins to apologize profusely. 

“Was that the neighbor?” Jeongin mumbles distractedly, rubbing absently at his forehead and ignoring Chan. 

Chan has pushed himself up onto his elbows, staring at the wall across the room, “I guess?” 

They sit in silence for another moment, waiting for… something. But nothing comes and the incident is forgotten quickly. Jeongin shoves Chan’s shorts down far enough to expose him.

“Let’s introduce ourselves then, Channie.” 

Chan doesn’t have a chance to be confused before Jeongin is ducking down to wrap his lips around Chan’s cock. The resounding yelp is music to Jeongin’s ears. A hand slides into Jeongin’s hair, gentle and not at all forceful. 

Jeongin moans at the touch, the taste of salt and sweat heavy on his tongue, and Chan whines louder. There’s another bang on the wall and Jeongin doesn’t stop. Chan reaches up to cover his mouth as Jeongin begins to bob his head faster. Jeongin makes quick work of him after that, sliding a hand up under Chan’s shirt to play with the piercing through his left nipple. 

Chan shudders through his orgasm, Jeongin swallowing his release down without a second thought. 

“Fuck,” Chan breathes out, scratching gently at Jeongin’s scalp as he stares down at him. His eyes are glossy and wide, full of something too gentle for Jeongin’s taste. 

Pulling away Jeongin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Chan is still staring at him. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Jeongin’s mood sours immediately. “Don’t you have some freshman to bore to death tonight?” 

Chan pouts, but doesn’t bite. Instead he shimmies his shorts back on, “She cancelled. I thought maybe we could hang out?” 

Jeongin narrows his eyes. He likes Chan. Chan makes pretty noises and cries when Jeongin gets mean in bed only to thank him for it afterwards. Usually in the form of a decent dinner out or a quaint lunch the next day. But Jeongin has no interest in Chan outside of that. 

“I’m meeting a friend tonight.” 

Chan wilts, and if Jeongin were a better person maybe he’d feel bad. But he doesn’t have time to be a great person. Not right now anyway.

There’s another bang on the wall behind them and Jeongin frowns, turning to look at the wall again. “What the fuck is their problem?” 

Chan grumbles dejectedly, “They’ll get used to it.” 

It’s a bit of a jab, but Jeongin knows it’s true. He huffs, standing up and wandering into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. His throat feels sticky and thick. One swallow of water forces the mess down. 

He places the glass on the counter. There’s another bang on the wall. Jeongin’s eye twitches.

“I think you should go, Chan.” 

Chan doesn’t argue, doesn’t try to convince Jeongin to cancel on his ‘friend’ and go out to dinner with him instead. When Chan leaves with hardly a smile Jeongin feels an entirely different kind of thickness in his throat as he stares at his door. 

The sound of glass shattering behind him has Jeongin whipping around. The glass of water he’d set on the counter is now laying in pieces on the floor. Water spreads across the linoleum through jagged shards. 

Now alone Jeongin looks around the room. He’s positive he’d placed the glass near the center of the counter. So how the fuck— 

His phone rings from the living room, he can see it light up on the coffee table where he’d set it earlier. Ignoring the mess on his floor for now, Jeongin makes his way to the device. 

Changbin’s contact photo takes up the entirety of the screen, and Jeongin takes a deep breath. He glances back at the kitchen, he can see the tiniest trickle of water trailing past the edge of the counter. 

He turns around and picks up the phone. 

~

Two weeks later and things in the apartment are getting weird. He never used to lose his keys, but now he finds himself searching for them at least four times a week. The microwave turns on at random and he’s had to invest in plastic cups with all the glasses that have slid off the counter top. 

Jeongin had, of course, noticed things were off during his afternoon with Chan, but with Changbin coming over only an hour later he had elected to simply ignore it that day. He had bigger things to worry about than an annoyed neighbor and a misplaced glass at the time. 

And now he has another… friend, coming over and he definitely does not have time for this. 

The banging on the wall behind his TV (new and shiny, courtesy of Changbin) has been going for almost two hours. At first he had considered that maybe his neighbor was just having sex. A lot of sex. But at this point there’s no way. And with that kind of consistency?

There was no way any man had that kind of impeccable stamina. Not when Seo Changbin existed. Jeongin didn’t believe it. 

Jeongin has his makeup done already. Seungmin loves fucking up his makeup, but Seungmin also _hates_ being interrupted. And the banging is going to be an issue. Another solid thwack against the wall has Jeongin breaking. 

“Shut up!” 

It’s silent for a minute. 

The knock on the door has Jeongin jumping so bad he whacks his knee on the coffee table. Cursing under his breath he hurries to the door, flattening his hands over his pretty dress shirt and too-tight jeans. 

When he opens the door Seungmin looks as poised as always. 

Jeongin isn’t intimidated by a lot of people. He’s learned how to handle almost any situation, talk and charm his way onto getting on someone’s good side no matter how badly he’s fucked up. Seungmin though… 

Seungmin is still a bit of a question mark in Jeongin’s eyes. 

“You look pretty, did you think I was taking you out tonight?” Seungmin says in greeting, making his way into the apartment.

Jeongin smiles, closing the door and turning to lean back against it just slightly, “Just wanted to look good for you.” 

Seungmin smiles, leaning in so that his face is centimeters from Jeongin’s. Jeongin feels trapped against the door. 

“Cute, but you know you’re always beautiful.” 

Jeongin flushes, but deep down he’s sure Seungmin doesn’t really mean it. Jeongin knows he cums harder when Jeongin has mascara streaked across his face. But he doesn’t point that out, instead batting his eyelashes and looking up at Seungmin with hooded eyes. 

That’s all it takes for Seungmin to push their lips together. And of course that’s when Jeongin’s neighbor acts out again. 

_Thwack!_

Seungmin pulls away carefully and glances at the wall, “Neighbor?” 

Jeongin groans, “I don’t know what their problem is, they’ve been doing that since I moved in and they won’t _stop_.” 

Seungmin tilts his head, “Did you go talk to them?” 

Jeongin doesn’t say anything. Seungmin chuckles, pulling Jeongin away from the door and opening the door again, “I’ll go with you, okay?” 

That isn’t really the issue, but Jeongin doesn’t want to argue. 

Jeongin feels silly as they make their way to his neighbor’s door. He makes sure to stand just slightly behind Seungmin, already knowing that the older will want to do most of the talking anyway. 

He winces when Seungmin knocks sharply, but doesn’t say anything. They wait for a minute before Seungmin knocks again. And again. Seungmin is obviously growing frustrated, ready to start pounding on the door. Only to be interrupted by a deep voice down the hall.

“Oh, you guys are knocking on—” The pretty blond that has just come up the stairs cuts himself off before tilting his head in confusion. “Nobody lives there?” 

Jeongin blinks at the petit boy, only mildly put-off by how dainty this boy is compared to his voice. He shakes away that thought to insist, “Somebody definitely lives there. They’ve been banging on my wall since I moved in.”

The boy rubs at the back of his neck, avoiding Jeongin’s eyes. “Yeah the girl living in your apartment before complained about it too, I don’t really know. But seriously, nobody lives in 3B.” 

Seungmin’s face is set in a deep frown. “Well, thank you for letting us know.” 

He’s already moving towards Jeongin’s apartment, not bothering to check if Jeongin is behind him. Jeongin hurries to follow, but the boy calls suddenly, “Oh! I’m Felix by the way, we haven’t really had the chance to introduce ourselves yet, but I live on your other side.” 

Jeongin is surprised by the sudden introduction, considering none of the other tenants in the building had bothered to say anything when he’d run into them. Everyone here seems to stick to themselves, and Jeongin is more than happy with that. He quickly morphs his expression into something open and friendly, “I’m Jeongin. It was nice to meet you Felix. I’ll see you around, sometime.” 

Felix’s resulting smile is a little tight. Jeongin suspects most people wouldn’t have noticed, but he can tell there’s something Felix isn’t telling him. He doesn’t dwell on it, especially not when he hears Seungmin call for him. 

He gives Felix one of his best smiles, sweet and oblivious, and then he turns. Seungmin is waiting for him in the kitchen, and when he clicks the door shut there is immediately a bang against the wall. 

“He has to be lying,” Seungmin says. 

“I don’t know,” Jeongin shrugs, “And I don’t really care. It’s annoying, but it’s not that bad. Better than my mom’s place.” 

Seungmin snorts, “It’d be even better if you just moved into the empty room at my place.” 

Jeongin giggles, pretends he doesn’t feel mildly sick at the idea. Seungmin is good at sex, like _really_ good, but Jeongin knows he’s dangerous. He isn’t going to let himself get dependent. He’s better than that. 

“Hyunjin is going to want that room back, you know that,” Jeongin says. He’s not actually sure about that, considering Hyunjin had been in his bed three nights ago, but he has a hunch. 

Seungmin rolls his eyes, advancing on Jeongin. “Don’t talk about him when I’m about to fuck you.” 

Jeongin gasps when he’s shoved back against the door, trapped once again. He doesn’t think he minds, especially when Seungmin’s mouth is on his, searing and oppressive. He melts into the harsh touch, let’s Seungmin tug him away from the door and further into the apartment.

He moans when he’s pressed into the bed, when his hips are held so tightly they bruise, when tears slip down his cheeks and when Seungmin growls in his ear. 

“Fucking take it.” 

And Jeongin does. He _wants_ it. 

The squeaking of the mattress and the rhythmic thump of the headboard against the wall is almost enough to drown out any of the noise his _not_ -neighbor is making. But each bang against the wall on the other side of the room has Seungmin’s jaw clenching, his thrusts a little harder, fingernails biting in deeper. 

Jeongin doesn’t mind. 

Because when Seungmin leaves he promises to take Jeongin out to that fancy restaurant he likes so much after their classes on Wednesday. 

“You should bring Hyunjin,” Jeongin chances. He knows it’s highly probable Seungmin will say no, maybe even get angry. 

Instead Seungmin doesn’t look at him, muttering, “If he answers my texts, maybe.” 

It’s a surprising bit of information, as Jeongin had been sure Seungmin was making _no_ efforts to rekindle their relationship. But now he has something to work with. He’ll have to talk to Hyunjin. He says goodnight to Seungmin after that, walking him to the door. 

Seungmin makes his way down the hall just as Felix is coming up the stairs again, now with takeout bags in hand. Seungmin bows politely at him, not stopping to chat. Felix returns the gesture, and once Seungmin has made his way down the stairs Felix looks up at Jeongin. 

“Boyfriend?” 

Jeongin raises an eyebrow, “No?” 

Felix seems taken aback, “Oh! Oh, I just thought, I mean the walls here are thin so I just thought maybe, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—” 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, though smiles a little at how flustered the other obviously is. It’s cute. 

“Friends with benefits is probably a better term. No boyfriend.”

Felix nods, and Jeongin is tempted to stop the awkward silence before it can properly arrive. But before he can bid his neighbor a goodnight, Felix blurts. 

“Did you eat?” 

Jeongin isn’t caught off-guard often, but Felix seems to be anything but predictable. But he can see where this is going. And he’s not looking for late-night conversations with a stranger right now.

“I did, thank you. I’m going to bed now. Goodnight, Felix.” 

It’s a little blunt, sure, but Jeongin makes sure to keep his voice light, feigning a small yawn in the midst of his words. Felix takes the bait easily, “Oh, yeah, of course! Goodnight, Jeongin.” 

Jeongin smiles and closes his door. This time when he leans back against it he doesn’t feel trapped or excited just _tired_. The sudden hum of his microwave starting up makes him groan, shuffling over to the appliance to jab at the cancel button. He knows it will just go off in another twenty minutes, but god he’s just so tired. 

Seungmin is amazing in bed, but it always leaves Jeongin feeling drained and like he needs to sleep for two days straight. Except he can’t do that. He has an English paper due at 9am and he can’t afford to let his grade drop. 

Glancing at the clock he heaves a sigh. Only 11pm. Plenty of time. 

~

Jeongin is dragging by the end of the month. His grades are high, he’s started working part-time at the campus coffee shop, he never has to buy his own meals, his kitchen is decked out with fancy appliances Changbin thinks he needs, and Chan has given him the login to his Netflix account, but he’s _tired_. And it doesn’t help that he’s pretty sure his apartment is haunted. 

Haunted might be dramatic, but something weird is definitely up with the place. He’d thought about asking Felix about it, but the blond is so bubbly and innocent, Jeongin would feel bad to scare him with something like this. Deciding to simply deal with it. Whatever _it_ is.

He’s tired.

Jisung shooting him a text that reads, _sorry can’t come tonight. lunch friday? my treat,_ is probably the best news Jeongin has gotten all week. He sends an affirmative text back and practically collapses on his couch. 

He likes fucking Jisung, he really does, but _god_ does it take a lot of energy. Jeongin doesn’t think he could have made it through an entire scene tonight. 

He’s half-asleep when his phone buzzes on his thigh, and he blinks down lazily at the device. It’s from Felix. 

_Have you eaten?_

Jeongin sighs. Felix is nice. A little too nice. He kind of reminds Jeongin of Chan, except they don’t fuck. Which makes his niceness even more unsettling. Jeongin can’t figure out what the freckled boy wants.

Tossing his phone onto the coffee table Jeongin elects to ignore the issue for now. He’s just about to turn the TV on when there’s a thump against the wall. Jeongin ignores that too. He flips the TV on and allows himself to fall into whatever cheesy drama pops up first on Chan’s recommended list. 

Five minutes into some girl narrating her first day of high-school, the TV screen goes black. Jeongin closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and turns it back on. When it happens twice more, he decides the show wasn’t worth it anyway.

He reaches for his phone, but before he can grab it the hum of his microwave (a new one thanks to Changbin) starts up. Jeongin clenches his jaw and stands. The wiring in the apartment has to be so shitty, that’s what he always tells himself. Just like he still tells himself someone _has_ to be living in 3C.

Making his way to the kitchen Jeongin smacks the off button and the microwave shuts off. He stands still for a moment. Waiting. And finally decides maybe the universe is just telling him to go to bed. He’s too tired for this anyway. 

As soon as he starts heading for his bedroom his foot catches on something he doesn’t see and he tumbles to the ground. Jeongin snaps. 

“Alright, what the fuck!? Is this fucking funny to you?! What the fuck do you want!?” 

As soon as he’s finished yelling there are frustrated tears building up in his eyes and he presses his palms into his eyes hard. “I’m going fucking insane,” He mutters to himself.

He stays curled on the floor for a moment longer, forcing his eyes to stop watering before he finally takes his hands away with a deep sigh. Only to find that someone is standing in his living room. 

Jeongin screams. 

The man in his living room doesn’t look concerned as Jeongin scrambles away until his back is against the fridge. Jeongin can’t take his eyes away. The man isn’t… there’s something wrong with him. There’s a strange glow to him and Jeongin can feel bile rising in his throat when he realizes the man is semi-translucent. 

He’s shaking, genuinely terrified, as he stammers, “What the fuck, what the fuck.” 

“Calm down, you knew I was here, that’s why you yelled at me,” The man—ghost? Is this a ghost? Jeongin feels light-headed. 

The ghost puts a hand on his hip, looking down at Jeongin like he’s annoyed. “I don’t like being yelled at by the way.” 

Jeongin would laugh, but his heart is in his throat. 

“You… you’re a…” 

The ghost rolls his eyes, “Yeah, I’m a ghost. Are you stupid?” 

Jeongin swallows thickly. “What do you want?” 

“Nothing really. It’s just fun to annoy you,” The ghost answers easily, but his expression softens just slightly, “I might have taken it too far.” 

Jeongin blinks. What the fuck. 

“Are… are you serious right now?” 

The ghost huffs, and Jeongin could almost imagine that if he had a body there would be pink staining his cheeks, “You’re pretty annoying too to be fair. I have to live here too and I can only take so much—” he waves his hands in the air frustratedly, “—sex.”

Jeongin does laugh this time, though the sound is weak and forced. “You’ve been making my life hell because I’m having too much sex?” 

“I wouldn’t call it hell.” 

“You tripped me!” 

“That one was an accident!” 

Jeongin takes a deep calming breath. His voice still shakes. “So what? The banging, the microwave, the TV, all my fucking glasses?” 

“I pull your sheets off you at night too, but you never wake up,” The ghost adds dejectedly. 

“Right,” Jeongin is feeling less terrified as he talks with the ghost, but he can still feel his heart beating wildly. “Well, I’m not going to _stop_ having sex. You might not have noticed but I kind of need it.” 

“You just need the money.” 

Jeongin’s face sours, “They don’t pay me. I’m not a prostitute.” 

The ghost raises an eyebrow, looking at the fancy coffee machine on the counter, “How much does something like this cost? A blowjob or maybe letting him piss—” 

“Shut up,” Jeongin seethes. “Look, I’m living my life the way I need to right now. And you’re dead. I don’t need lectures from a fucking ghost. How old are you anyway, you don’t look that much older than me, so what did you fuck up so bad to wind up dead, huh? At least I’m fucking _alive_.” 

The ghost is startled into silence and Jeongin almost feels guilty. But he shoves that feeling down as soon as it surfaces. He doesn’t owe this ghost anything. He’s tired and he’s angry and the source of all his minor inconveniences from the past month is standing _right_ here. 

Fuck, he cannot believe he is arguing with a ghost right now.

There’s a stretch of silence, before the ghost mumbles, “Whatever. I wanted to say sorry for tripping you. It really was an accident, I don’t usually make it my goal to do real harm.” 

Jeongin scoffs, “ _Real_ harm?” 

“Take the apology or leave it, I don’t care.” 

And the ghost flickers away. 

Jeongin is still on the floor, his body flush to the fridge and only when the ghost is gone does he realize how tightly wound he is. Slumping a little Jeongin drags his legs closer to his body. Of course his apartment is _actually_ haunted. Of course it is. 

His phone buzzes where it is on the coffee table and Jeongin sighs. Pulling himself up he makes his way to the device. Another message from Felix. 

_Are you okay? I thought I could hear yelling?_

Jeongin bites his lip. Felix knows something about this place. Until now Jeongin hadn’t known how to question him about it but maybe now… 

He sends a short text back. _Can you come over?_

There’s a knock on his door within 3 minutes. Jeongin can’t understand _why_ Felix always tries so hard and usually it’s only mildly annoying. But over the last couple of weeks Jeongin has grown to almost enjoy Felix’s company. It’s like he has a _normal_ friend.

Felix looks concerned when Jeongin opens the door. 

“Are you okay? Was-was it one of the guys you have over?”

Jeongin resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No. No it wasn’t one of them, just…” 

Fuck, how does he explain that he just met the ghost that lives in his apartment? Felix knows something but that doesn’t mean he knows about _this_. There’s no way. But Jeongin doesn’t have any other ideas. 

“This is going to sound so crazy, okay? But I promise I’m not lying, so just—”

“Is it about the weird noises and stuff?” Felix interrupts, eyes going a little wider in interest. 

“Yeah.” Jeongin inhales sharply. “They’re a little more than noises though…” 

“Oh my god, was I right? This apartment is haunted?” 

That wasn’t what Jeongin was expecting. “I'm sorry?” 

Felix shakes his head, eyes bright, “The girl who used to live here was _so_ scared to sleep here alone, she would ask me to sleep over sometimes when her friends couldn’t, and it was so weird! But you think it’s haunted too right?” 

The building excitement in Felix’s voice is confusing Jeongin more and more, but he shakes that off. “Look, I _saw_ the ghost. It’s some young dude, and he’s a _dick_. That’s who I was yelling at.” 

Felix is staring at him in awe now and Jeongin comes to a realization. “Wait, you _knew_ this place was haunted? Why didn’t you say something!?” 

“I didn’t want to freak you out!” Felix says quickly, and then he admits timidly “Plus the only time it came up you were with that one guy? Sangmin? Something? He’s like… really scary.” 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “Seungmin. And he’s just been in a bad mood because his boyfriend broke up with him. Sort of. Not really. But whatever! We’ve literally hung out like five other times? Why not then?” 

A slight blush rises up to Felix’s face, “Well, after we started actually talking and I realized you were kind of cool, I didn’t want to like… come across as a freak?” 

Jeongin stares at him blankly. “Felix. My apartment is haunted.” 

Felix insists, “Yeah, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure! Like I knew someone died here, and I knew Mina thought it was haunted but like—”

“Someone died here?” Jeongin feels like his blood has gone cold. It feels stupid to just realize now that the ghost he’d met had _died_ here. He’s starting to feel guilt creep back into his chest.

Felix nods, face looking more solemn now, “Yeah, I did some research. It was before I moved in. The news report said it was an overdose.” 

Jeongin winces. Fuck. 

“Did um, did the article say who it was? What his name was?”

There’s a sudden scratching sound against the door and both Jeongin and Felix jump. Nothing else happens, no banging or scratching. The air feels as though it’s solidified, weighing down on the two boys heavily.

“He was a student,” Felix says quietly, like he’s telling a secret. “His name was Lee Minho.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days for Jeongin are suspiciously quiet. The ghost— _Minho_ , hasn’t been making any noise at all. Jeongin hates that he’s worried. Minho is a _ghost_ for fuck’s sake, why is he stressing about the well-being of a ghost? 

Except now there’s a name attached to the strange noises and with that name came a slew of information. Felix had shown Jeongin the articles about the case that he had on hand. Which was a little creepy, Jeongin has to admit, but ultimately very helpful. 

Minho did die of an overdose. His death ruled a suicide. 

A model student financing his education with scholarships and a part-time job as a waiter. He’d had a lot of friends according to the report, yet nobody could say more than “he was a dear friend” and “he was a good classmate.” 

It made Jeongin feel a little sick how similar Minho had been to him.

Jeongin thinks about maybe trying to talk to the ghost, but he doesn’t even know what he’d say. Sorry? He didn’t think Minho would be too interested in hearing it. Especially since Jeongin had just wrapped up a night with Jisung. 

Jisung is _always_ the loudest. Felix has teased Jeongin about it before, _“was that cute squirrelish boy over? I could hear the sounds of suffering.”_

Jeongin doesn’t usually care about how loud he or anybody he sleeps with is, but tonight he’d felt bad. Minho didn’t like that he had such loud sex in the apartment. So of course the next time he has sex it’s so loud that the neighbors downstairs will probably file a complaint. 

He contemplates apologizing to the empty air of his apartment in the hopes that Minho is _somewhere_ , but his phone ringing stops him. And the contact that flashes across the screen has his stomach dropping. 

His hands are already shaking a little when he answers. “Hey, Mom.” 

She hasn’t talked to him since he moved out, since he told her that he wouldn’t be coming back, since she screamed at him that she didn’t _want_ him to come back. He knew she’d call eventually, begging him to come home, and he knew he’d never be ready for it. 

Her words sound like they're underwater, but he catches the important parts. _‘Baby come home,’ ‘you belong with your mother,’ ‘we can be better.’_

_We._ Jeongin doesn’t know what ‘we’ she’s talking about. Her and her asshole boyfriend? Or her and Jeongin? Maybe she’s trying to be purposefully vague so that he’ll fill in the blanks with what he _wants_ to believe. He’s tired. 

“Mom, I’m not coming back, I told you,” Jeongin hates how small his voice sounds. 

Because he knows that’s when the anger will come. And he’s right. Of course he’s right. She’s probably sitting in her own living room, empty beer cans lined on the coffee table and spilling onto the floor as she yells into the phone. Jeongin takes a moment to count the rings of the notebook he has on his own tiny table. 

Jeongin doesn’t want to process anything she’s saying. “Mom, I have to go. It’s late and I have class in the morning.” 

She scoffs, “Always so ambitious. You’re setting yourself up for failure.” 

Jeongin swallows, ignoring the burn of tears in his eyes. “Goodnight, Mom.” 

He doesn’t wait for her to not say it back. 

Jeongin sets his phone down gently on the coffee table before pulling his legs up onto the couch, curling into a small ball and tucking his head between his knees. He focuses on his breathing and nearly jumps out of his skin when someone starts talking. 

“Are you okay?” 

Jeongin recognizes the voice immediately. He lets out a choked laugh, “Just great.” 

Minho sighs. “I’m sorry you and your mother—” 

“Don’t.” Jeongin snaps, “Don’t say a fucking word. You don’t know _anything_ about me or her. So just don’t.” 

Minho doesn’t speak for a while longer. Not until Jeongin finally lifts his head, revealing red-rimmed, puffy eyes. 

“You should ask Felix to come over.” 

Jeongin is caught off-guard by the suggestion. “What?” 

Minho shrugs. “You actually smile around him. I think you could use a friend right now.” 

Jeongin snorts, “I don’t need anyone, thanks.” 

“Edgy,” Minho says drily. “Now text him.” 

“What are you even doing here? You disappear for days and show up now?” 

Minho raises an eyebrow, “I’m literally bound to this apartment for eternity. I couldn’t leave if I wanted to.” 

Jeongin winces, suddenly remembering his insensitive comments before. “I’m sorry,” He says lamely. 

“What for?” 

“Are you seriously going to make me say it?” 

Minho looks at him expectantly and Jeongin sighs. 

“I’m sorry I was rude about your death,” Jeongin admits. “I didn’t know…” 

“You couldn’t have known,” Minho says quietly, “Just like I couldn’t have known about your life.” 

It isn’t an apology, but Jeongin can read between the lines. “It’s fine.” 

“Likewise.”

Another silence stretches between them, but it isn’t weird. Or at least it isn’t as weird as it _should_ be considering Minho is a ghost. 

Jeongin bites at his lip. “Sorry about the sex earlier. I know it bothers you.” 

Minho seems surprised by the sudden mention but he returns to his neutral expression quickly. “He’s rich?” 

“And desperate. I mostly fuck him because he’s rich though,” Jeongin says, smiling a little when Minho laughs. 

“Are all of them rich? Changbin, obviously. Seungmin and Hyunjin seem to be. Chan?” 

“Damn, you learned all their names?” Jeongin jokes before shrugging, “Chan isn’t really, but he’s nice and a little dumb. He treats me to lunch a lot.” 

“Kind of like Felix, then.”

Jeongin barks out a laugh at that, and Minho smiles in return. It isn’t weird. 

“This is kind of weird, right?” Jeongin says. 

Minho shrugs, “Only if you make it weird. Just think of me like a roommate. Except I don’t eat or sleep or pay rent, and I’m almost always watching you.” 

“God, okay, now it’s definitely weird,” Jeongin says, tossing a pillow at Minho playfully. Only for it to pass through Minho’s semi-translucent body and hit the floor with a soft thump. 

Both of them seem surprised for half a second before they’re doubled over laughing. It doesn’t feel weird. 

~

Jeongin’s mother calls five times over the next two weeks and Jeongin doesn’t pick up. He shouldn’t have picked up the first time. But in the end, he’s glad he did. Minho isn’t really that terrible to have around now that they’ve talked. 

He does still fuck around with appliances and bang on the walls when Jeongin has people over though.

“If I can’t have fun scaring you, I at least need to do it to these rich assholes.” 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, not looking up from the assignment he’s working on. “They aren’t assholes.” 

He can feel Minho’s exasperated look and amends, “Well, they aren’t the _worst_ assholes.” 

Minho hums. “I guess that’s fair. I didn’t think Seungmin was capable of love.” 

That has Jeongin’s attention, his smile is amused when he looks up at Minho. The ghost continues, “Seriously, he and Hyunjin are so in love, it’s sickening. Did you really have to bring them _both_ over to get them back together?” 

“They’ll fuck each other more now, they won’t really need me,” Jeongin says, as if that will appease Minho. And it would, if Jeongin didn’t look so… dejected. 

“Does that bother you? That they only wanted you for the sex?” 

Jeongin frowns and mutters, “Gee, thanks.” 

“You don’t need them. You could just have normal friends. Like Felix. Or Chan, maybe.” 

Jeongin runs his tongue over his teeth in agitation. “Pass. Chan’s a nerd and Felix is probably a conspiracy theorist.” 

“Ok, first, Chan’s a _hot_ nerd. And Felix is probably less creepy than you think,” Minho insists, plucking Jeongin’s pen out of his hands, “You should try and do something with Felix other than play video games and eat. Make a lasting connection!” 

Jeongin doesn’t say anything, so Minho sighs, “Okay, what about Jisung?” 

The question hangs in the air for a moment before Jeongin breaks into giggles. Minho follows suit. 

“Yeah, okay, fair,” Minho says, eyes brighter now that Jeongin is smiling. “Changbin doesn’t seem that bad.” 

“He thinks he’s straight, I’m not dealing with that,” Jeongin shoots down the suggestion immediately. 

“Right, so Chan or Felix. Or both? You could have _two_ entire friends!” 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, reaching for his pen now that he’s growing tired of the conversation, “Seriously, Min, I don’t need them. I have you now. That’s enough.” 

The statement has Minho faltering a little, allowing Jeongin to snatch his pen back. His shock must be evident because Jeongin raises an eyebrow, “You okay?” 

Minho blinks a few times before smiling weakly, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. But, uh, I don’t really count. You’ll move away someday and I’ll stay here. College is supposed to be the best time of your life, or something, right? You make your lifelong friends, and all?”

“I’ll just stay here forever then, doesn’t matter,” Jeongin says easily and Minho winces. 

“I… don’t think you want to stay here forever. Take it from someone who knows.” 

Jeongin’s eyes are wide when he looks up. “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Minho shakes his head, offering a small smile, “I know. Just… try? I know you’ve read the articles about me. You should give people something to say about you.” 

Jeongin’s throat feels thick suddenly, “Min…” 

“I’m not saying that so you’ll feel guilty, just… I don’t know why I’m stuck here. And part of me is worried it’s because I didn’t _try_ enough during my lifetime. I don’t want you to end up like me.” 

Jeongin has an inkling that Minho is alluding to their similarities more than he’s letting on, but he knows Minho doesn’t like to talk about his life. Licking his lips, Jeongin thinks about Minho’s request. 

Chan and Felix aren’t the worst. They’re pleasant in all honesty. 

“I’ll try, but only for you,” Jeongin relents. He mumbles to himself, “Asshole.” 

But he can’t help but smile when Minho beams. 

Jeongin doesn’t make empty on his promise over the next few weeks. He invites Felix over on his own accord and he has Chan over to watch disney movies _without_ having any sex. Minho doesn’t make any noise while they’re over. It’s a little unnerving, as Jeongin has gotten used to knowing when Minho is around, but somehow he can still feel the ghost’s presence. 

The more he has Felix and Chan over the more Jeongin begins to _notice_ when Minho isn’t around. And he doesn’t like it. He just ends up waiting for whichever boy is over to _leave_ , which he knows wasn’t Minho’s goal. 

But of course Minho catches on. Probably because tonight Jeongin had zoned out at least three different times while Chan was talking to him. Jeongin feels bad, but Chan hadn’t really seemed to notice, instead saying, “You seem kind of tired, do you want me to head out so you can go to bed?” 

Jeongin did _not_ deserve such gentleness, especially not from Chan who he has hurt countless times with his blunt words. 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Jeongin mumbles, and he walks Chan to the door. 

“Oh! I wanted to ask—” Chan stops in the doorway, the tips of his ears are starting to turn red, “—would you want to grab dinner this week?” 

Jeongin can tell Chan wants to say something else but is clearly too nervous to do so. Jeongin can’t blame him, remembering how he’d reacted last time to Chan asking this question. He thinks about declining, but he remembers that he’s supposed to be _trying_. 

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Jeongin says. And Chan positively lights up. He’d clearly been ready for the rejection and Jeongin has to admit that his surprise is adorable. 

Chan leaves soon after, promising to text Jeongin with the details. When Jeongin closes the door he frowns. 

“I feel like I’m being unfair.” 

Minho’s voice is confused behind him, “How so?” 

“I don’t like him the way he likes me.” 

“You don’t? You guys cuddled through the whole movie.” 

Jeongin turns around with a groan, “But I _know_ I don’t like him that way.” 

Minho tilts his head, “And how do you know that?” 

And Jeongin’s brain stutters to a full-stop. Chan isn’t Minho. That’s how Jeongin knows.

Jeongin’s own realization has him reeling, “Oh, fuck.” 

Minho blinks. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“It’s because I like you,” Jeongin admits easily. There’s no reason to hide it, Minho will just figure it out anyway because he’s _Minho_. Minho is staring at him with big eyes and Jeongin laughs. 

“I like a ghost.” 

Minho shakes his head, “That—no, you can’t—” 

“I do!” Jeongin exclaims, “Is that even possible? Can I even kiss you? Touch you?” 

Minho licks his lips. “I… I don’t know.” 

Jeongin swallows thickly, taking a step forward. “Can we find out?” 

Jeongin reaches out first. His hand is shaking slightly and his eyes are focused on where Minho’s own misty hand is moving. He wants to close his eyes when they’re fingers are inches apart, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Terrified at the thought of Minho’s body passing through his. 

But it doesn’t. Minho’s fingers are cold against his, but Jeongin doesn’t let that stop him. He clasps Minho’s hand in his and uses his grip to pull Minho towards him. Minho’s entire body is cold, and it feels slightly off compared to the touch of a living, breathing person. But Jeongin doesn’t care. 

“Kiss me?” Jeongin’s voice is breathless. 

Minho can’t find it in himself to say no, even when his mind is screaming at him that this is a terrible idea. Minho’s lips are cold on Jeongin’s and when Minho presses Jeongin back against the door Jeongin feels safe, secure. 

“Fuck, Minho,” Jeongin whimpers when Minho moves to kiss at his neck. Jeongin can’t help but shiver. 

“We really shouldn’t do this,” Minho mumbles against his skin. 

Jeongin shakes his head, “I don’t care.” 

Minho’s skin doesn’t warm up when they move to bed or when they’re naked and wrapped around each other. _Somehow_ Minho had been wearing clothes, but Jeongin can’t focus on how or what or why, because as soon as Minho is naked he’s swinging his legs over Jeongin’s hips. 

“W-wait, do I need to—”

Minho sinks down on Jeongin’s cock in one motion and Jeongin chokes on whatever he was going to say, instead gasping at the cool tightness around him. Jeongin can hardly believe this is happening, his head spins when Minho starts moving his hips. 

It’s strange, definitely, but Jeongin doesn’t care. All he cares about is how beautiful Minho looks above him. It’s definitely unnatural how poised Minho is and Jeongin falters, “D-do you feel good?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Minho murmurs, leaning down to kiss Jeongin, “Wanna make you feel good.” 

That… isn’t what Jeongin wanted to hear. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“I’m a ghost, Innie. I can’t feel anything.” 

Jeongin blinks. “Oh.” 

Minho brings himself down hard on Jeongin, startling a gasp out of the human, “ _But,_ I love seeing you like this. You don’t get taken care of enough.” 

Jeongin whines a little at that, somewhat appeased that at least if Minho can’t physically enjoy himself this is still rewarding. 

“Minho, you feel so good,” Jeongin murmurs, leaning up to catch Minho in another kiss. He feels selfish when he feels warmth coiling in his stomach. He wishes he could make Minho feel the same. 

“I’m close,” Jeongin breathes, and Minho kisses at his neck, cold and wet. 

“Cum for me.” 

Jeongin arches as he releases, hands reaching up to grip at Minho’s shoulders. Jeongin is so used to fast, hard, rough, but this is so different. He finds that he likes it, but he wonders if that’s because of the intimacy or because of just _who_ is hovering over him.

Minho pulls off of Jeongin easily. He hadn’t broken a sweat at all. 

They get cleaned up and dressed in near silence, and Jeongin’s heart feels heavy. Minho doesn’t seem bothered, but Jeongin knows this was… wrong. Fuck, what was going on with him. How had he ended up like this? 

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until cold fingers swipe under his eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Jeongin?” 

Licking his lips Jeongin mumbles, “We… shouldn’t do this again.” 

His heart feels like it’s broken in two. He would never be able to give Minho what Minho could give him. Not just sexually, but Jeongin couldn’t pretend that Minho was alive. And Minho shouldn’t have to suffer knowing that Jeongin was breathing while he wasn’t. 

“I’m sorry, Jeongin,” Minho says softly, “I shouldn’t have let us go that far.” 

“I’m glad we did,” Jeongin admits. He looks up tearfully at Minho. “I’m just… sad you can’t be here. Like _here_ , with me.” 

Minho sighs, “I am with you.” 

Jeongin gives a watery smile before asking, “C-can you kiss me? Just one more time?” 

Minho looks conflicted, “Jeongin…” 

“I won’t ask again. I promise, just please Minho,” Jeongin sniffles, “I’ve never felt like this for anybody. I’m not ready to lose you, yet.” 

Minho regards Jeongin, his eyes sad and his smile fond. “You aren’t losing me.” 

Even as he says the words, he leans in to connect their lips one more time. 

~

Jeongin and Minho fall back into their usual routine easily enough. Jeongin still longs, but he recognizes that he and Minho can’t be together. Not really. 

It hurts, but Jeongin is learning how to deal with it. And it’s partially thanks to Chan, although the older boy doesn’t realize it. Minho had spoken some truth about Jeongin being reluctant to let people take care of him, and Jeongin wonders if that’s why he’s always shut Chan out. And then refused Felix’s friendship for so long too. 

They were offering him help because they _cared_. They didn’t just want to buy him things in exchange for weird sex they didn’t know how to ask for from anyone else. 

Well, that last bit was at least applicable to Felix. 

Felix falls into the ‘friend’ category easily. Jeongin can say with confidence now that Felix being so incredibly, fucking _nice_ is just his nature. He realizes this when he catches Felix chatting Jisung up outside of the apartment complex. Jisung had been having a stressful week with school, and honestly had looked like death when he arrived at Jeongin’s doorstep. 

He’d looked better upon leaving, but not by much. So, of course, when Felix had noticed Jisung limping and half-asleep on the way out he’d invited the guy out for soup. And Jeongin pretended not to hear them talking later in the night, laughing and playing some video game with the volume turned all the way up. 

For some reason it made Jeongin’s heart feel a little warm to hear, even if he did playfully chide Felix for being so loud the next day. 

Chan, on the other hand, was a work in progress. Jeongin still wasn’t sure about his feelings for the older boy. But he did like Chan. He liked that Chan played with his hair when he was stressed out, that Chan offered to come over and cook when Jeongin complained about his piling homework assignments. 

The first time Chan shows up at the campus coffee shop simply to say hello, Jeongin feels himself melt for the first time. Before Chan leaves Jeongin leans across the counter to place a small kiss on Chan’s cheek. Jeongin grows more and more endeared by Chan every time they meet. 

But Minho. 

Jeongin’s heart aches when he thinks about Minho. 

It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Minho is a ghost. It isn’t fair that the first time Jeongin feels love its for someone who has already lived their life. Love. Is what Jeongin feels for Minho love? He isn’t sure, considering he’d never felt it before. 

But for Minho he’s willing to put that label on his feelings. He loves Minho. 

Jeongin has been distracted for the last few days, his mind swirling thinking about everything. His feelings for Minho and Chan are confusing, but he’s trying. 

Minho seems happy with that, at least. 

“Did you have fun? Chan was really cute tonight,” Minho starts as soon as Chan has left from another movie night. Jeongin had picked a movie tonight, something horror with ghosts. He refuses to think too much about why he’d been drawn to the movie. 

“He doesn’t handle horror well,” Jeongin says, smiling amusedly. “It was pretty cute, I guess.” 

Minho rolls his eyes, “Don’t be shy! You kissed him!” 

Jeongin blinks. “So?” 

“You haven’t kissed anyone outside of sex since you moved in! At least, not here…” Minho watches him with wide eyes and gasps, “Have you kissed him other places?” 

Now it’s Jeongin’s turn to roll his eyes, “God, shut up, you’re so annoying.” 

Minho snickers, but as his laughter dies down he looks over Jeongin fondly. “I’m really proud of you by the way. For trying.” 

Jeongin doesn’t respond, pretending to focus on his essay as heat rises to his face.

“No, really,” Minho insists, “Thank you.” 

Jeongin makes a surprised scoffing noise. “What are you _thanking_ me for?” 

Minho shrugs. “I’ve been a ghost for a while, Innie. You know how cold I am, I can feel it too. But somehow, I’ve been feeling warmer lately. And I think it’s because of you.” 

Jeongin bites his lip, not at all prepared for the admission. “Min, stop.” 

When Minho speaks again his voice is a little tight, “I wish I could have met you before…” 

Minho trails off and when Jeongin looks up he’s surprised to see tears in the ghost’s eyes. “Minho?” 

“But we wouldn’t have met, otherwise. So I’m glad that at least I could meet you like this—”

“Minho you’re starting to scare me—”

“I don’t know how much longer I can stay with you.” 

Jeongin’s entire world seems to shatter. 

“I can feel something pulling at me. I’ve felt it for a few days and it’s getting stronger and stronger,” Minho says quietly. 

“No.” 

Minho looks up at Jeongin and the first of his tears fall. He seems startled, reaching up to wipe at the ghostly tears. When he touches the wetness on his face he laughs. “I-I didn’t think I could cry anymore.” 

Jeongin’s own eyes well up and he shakes his head, “Minho, I can’t lose you.” 

Minho smiles weakly. “Innie, I think the reason I got stuck here was because I was meant to meet you.” 

“Please, don’t—” 

“And now that-that you’re okay—”

“I’m _not_! Minho, I can’t be alone again! Nothing is _okay_ about this!” Jeongin’s voice is nearing hysterics. 

“You are though. You don’t need to be alone anymore. You have people who care about you. Felix and Chan—”

Minhos form flickers and Jeongin’s heart stops. He almost thinks he imagined it, but when he looks closer he can tell that Minho is slowly fading. 

“No! No, no, no, Minho you can’t!” 

“I don’t have a choice Jeongin,” Minho says sadly, reaching out to wipe at the tears streaming steadily from Jeongin’s eyes. “But you do. You can _be_ something. You’re so smart. You’re beautiful and so sweet when you want to be. Jeongin, you’ll be alright.” 

Jeongin is shaking, recognizing that Minho’s fingers are warm against his cheek. He feels like he can’t speak past the lump in his throat. 

“Keep trying. Please Jeongin? Even if Chan isn’t the one, even if Felix moves away, please promise me that you’ll keep trying?”

Jeongin doesn’t want to. He doesn’t know if he can do this without Minho. 

“Jeongin, promise me,” Minho pushes. The touch of his fingers on Jeongin’s face is becoming fainter and fainter. “Jeongin please.”

A sob bubbles out of Jeongin’s throat and he reaches up to grip weakly at Minho’s wrist, “I won’t forget you. I’ll never forget you, you mean so much to me, Minho. You’re more than a dear friend or a good classmate. Minho, I _love_ you.”

Minho laughs, closing his eyes and leaning forward to press his forehead against Jeongin’s. “You better not forget me, or else I’ll come back and haunt you in the most unfun, unsexy way possible.”

Jeongin can’t help but let out a worbled laugh, but it sounds more like he’s crying. “I promise. I promise.”

The hand Jeongin had used to grip at Minho closes around nothing, and the warm touch of Minho disappears. And Jeongin breaks. He curls up on his couch and sobs so hard that he’s sure Felix would hear him if he weren’t out on a date with Jisung. 

Minho is gone. 

Jeongin feels lost. He wants to give up, follow after Minho. His first love. 

But… but he promised. 

Jeongin reaches for his phone. With trembling fingers, he calls Chan.

Chan answers on the first ring, and all it takes is hearing Jeongin’s wrecked voice for him to insist that he’s on the way back. Jeongin only then realizes that Chan is probably already on the bus to get back to his own apartment. 

But Chan is insisting that it doesn’t matter, that he’ll be there in ten minutes, he’ll run if he has to. Jeongin’s heart swells and for half of a second it feels like he can feel Minho’s presence. Like Minho is smiling at him with pride. 

Jeongin doesn’t have to be alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought :)


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